No one believes him, but Ted is taking the beautiful Mary to the prom. He picks her up at her house, where immediatly things go wrong when he’s trying to surprise Mary’s brother Warren with a baseball. It gets worse when Ted goes to the bathroom to pee. He’s watching two birds, when the fly away Mary’s parents think he was watching Mary getting redressed and he was masturbating. When he wants to zip up, his gentleman parts get stuck between the zipper. Auch!
Ted hired Pat Healy to find Mary and Healy is spying on her. Finding out she’s practically a saint and still a very beautiful woman. While Mary is having lunch with her friends, Pat overhears her talking about a guy named Brad. He was basically the perfect guy, but she found out he wasn’t that happy about her mentally challenged brother Warren. So she tells her friends: “Who needs him? I’ve got a vibrator”. And Healy bursts into laughter.
Healy is watching Mary outside her appartement. She is getting undressed and Healy wants to take a look through bigger binoculours. When he gets them and is ready for the big moment where he sees Mary’s boobs, Healy glances into her neighbours window seeing Magda topless, which scares him.
Mary is at the golf course and Healy is trying to impress her. He doesn’t know how to play golf, but when he needs change he gets her attention by telling her he only has coins from Nepal, a place Mary always wanted to visit. In the parking lot, she wants to get to know him and also finds out he’s an architect and works with ‘retards’ (his words). Off course they are all lies, but she likes him.
Ted found out that Healy lied to him. Mary is still a beautiful woman and hasn’t changed much. He wants to visit her, but is affraid. His friend Dom makes Mary notice him and they start talking. They plan a date and Ted is filled with joy.
Before Ted is meeting Mary, he’s trying to feel more relaxed. He starts masturbating and after the big moment he looses his… body fluid…. When he opens the door for Mary, the lost sperm is hanging on his ear. Mary thinks it’s hairgel and and grabs it to put it in her hair. While in the bar, Mary’s hair is standing up straight.
Ted goes to Mary’s house and before he does, Healy feeds dog Puffy some uppers. Magda asks Ted to release the dog from the bathroom, while he’s banging the door. Ted is scared for what he’s going to see, but when he opens the door he sees the little Puffy. He’s not so cute, because he attacks Ted and they get into a big fight. And Puffy ends up jumping out of the window.
Mary and Ted are having the best time and they seem very happy. While standing on the peer, a fishing hook grabs Ted’s lip.
Mary told Ted about her ex-boyfriend Woogie who started acting weird and he’s the reason she changed her name. Woogie turns out to be Ted’s friend Dom and he shows up at Mary’s appartement. He’s trying to steal her shoes.
All of Mary’s worshipers are in her appartement, even Brad. It turns out that he wasn’t bad and that he didn’t say those things about her brother Warren. Ted tells all the guys that Mary should decide and that he just wants Mary to be happy. When he leaves her house, thinking she choose Brad, Mary follows him. Telling Ted: “I’d be happiest with you”. They kiss.
Favorite Moment: Moment # 10: Happiest with you
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