Most characters on “Seinfeld” could use some good old-fashioned relaxation, and as this season nine episode proves beyond a shadow of a doubt, chanting ‘serenity now’ over and over again is not that therapy. The technique does not work for Lloyd Braun or Frank Costanza, and it certainly doesn’t work for Kramer, who ends up destroying a bunch of computers. Unfortunately those computers belong to George, who was hiding them from his father after claiming he sold them to non-existent customers.
A recipe for disaster. George’s parents come over for dinner at Susan’s parents’ apartment bringing a loaf of rye bread as a gift. When they realize the bread was not served, the Costanzas take it back, causing George to look bad by association. Eager to make it appear as if the loaf never left the apartment, George and Jerry concoct a scheme involving a fishing rod and Kramer’s horse. What could go wrong?
No surprise, but the entire episode is set in a parking garage when the gang is looking for the car they came in. While trying to remember where the parked, Jerry gets caught publicly urinating, and Elaine’s goldfish dies. At the end of the episode, they finally find the car only to discover that the engine won’t start.
Jerry and Elaine visit Jerry’s parents in Florida. His parents’ friends come over for dinner and Jerry compliments Jack Klompus on his pen. Jack gives the pen to Jerry, that can write upside down. He mentions that this is the pen that astronauts use in space. Jerry’s parents are furious that he accepted the pen. Oh, I love Jerry’s parents.
“Seinfled” was never shy on ‘Superman’ references, but this one took it to another level. After Elaine breaks up with her boyfriend Kevin, they decide to still be friends. Only then does Elaine realize that Kevin and his friends are the Bizarro versions of Jerry, George and Kramer, essentially they’re exact opposites. Jerry dates a woman with ‘man hands’ and Kramer accidentally landing a corporate office gig, only to be fired shortly thereafter despite never having been actually hired.
George realizes that, having no sex, makes him smarter. For Elaine it does the exact opposite. Like another episode that will come up later on the list, this was a pretty ‘out there’ episode for the 90s.
“The Opposite” is one of the best George-centric episode in the entire series. After and increasing bout of bad luck, Jerry suggest that whenever George makes a decision he simply do the opposite of what he normally would. This leads to him getting both a girldfriend and a job at Yankee Stadium. Meanwhile, Elaine’s luck plummets and she realizes she’s become the new George.
The gang travels to India for the wedding of Elaine’s frenemy Sue Ellen Mishky. What’s so special about this episode is that it is played in reverse. If they didn’t do this, it would be a pretty standard episode, but doing it like this makes it unforgettable.
This episode is most remember for Kramer’s one line in a Woody Allen movie (“These pretzels are making me thirsty!”) and the moment where Jerry is trying to rent a car and has to lecture the cashier about the difference between taking and holding a reservation. And these two alone, make for this episode being as funny as it is.
“The Chinese Restaurant” episode is the benchmark for ‘the show about nothing’, what the series eventually became known for. The entire episode takes place in the waiting room of a Chinese restaurant as Jerry, George and Elaine become more frustrated by the long wait time.
Like “The Chinese Restaurant” and “The Parking Garage”, this is also a bottle episode, being only set in one location: a limo. This one sees Jerry and George make an ethically questionable decision and thereafter suffer every imaginable consequence. George lies about his identity at the airport to get a free limo ride to Madison Square Garden, but slowly learns the person George said he was is actually a prominent neo-nazi and the limo is taking them to a protest across the street from the Garden.
A trip to a cabin proves disastrous as Elaine makes Jerry visits a fan of his, who lives in a bubble. Along the way, Jerry gets lost and George and Susan end up in a game of Trivial Pursuit with the bubble boy. And we all know that ‘moops’ don’t exist, but that bubble boy was a giant a-hole.
This episode saw Kramer switch apartments with Jerry after a Kenny Roger’s Roasters opens up next door and Kramer can’t sleep due to the massive red neon sign. The switch causes the two men to also switch personalities, with Jerry becoming as wigged out as Kramer ever was.
Admit it, we’ve all done it after seeing this episode. Jerry makes fun of his girlfriend’s belly button, by saying hello in a funny voice. I know that my brother and I did, for a very long time. Maybe too long… And there is a moment in this episode where Jerry goes to a pier and contemplates whether he wants to stay with his girlfriend or keep talking in the voice that he’s created, while Lionel Richie’s “Hello” is playing. I can’t stop thinking about his scene whenever I hear the song. Surprisingly enough, this episode isn’t on many favorites lists.
Jerry, Elaine, George and Kramer go out to The Hamptons to see a friend’s new baby and enjoy a weekend at the beach. The baby turns out to be ugly and Kramer is the only one to actually say it out loud. And off course there is the ‘shrinkage’.
George has told a lot of lies, a lot! Hut him pretending to be a marine biologist to impress a former classmate slash love interest is one of the greatest. And yet, he almost pulls it off.
Jerry befriends his idol Keith Hernandez and becomes jealous when he starts dating Elaine. Newman and Kramer state how much they hate Keith Hernandez and Jerry disproves their theory of why, in a JFK documentary style manner. And then there is George’s lie to the unemployment agency about his job at Vandalay’s Industries. That is my favorite scene ever!
This episode is one of creator Larry David’s personal favorites. The episode is centered around a ‘low talker’ who accidentally convinces Jerry to model the titular shirt on the ‘Today Show’. And the phrase “but I don’t want to be a pirate” can never be forgotten because of this.
Plenty of “Seinfeld” side characters broke out over the years, but perhaps none is more memorable than the Soup Nazi, the owner of a very popular soup stand. His soup proves so good that Jerry is willing to end a relationship over it. George finds himself banned from the stand for having the audacity to ask for bread with his soup.
“The Contest’ remains the pinnacle of “Seinfeld” episodes. The group sets a wager among themselves to see who can go the longest without pleasuring themselves. The four begin to unravel as time goes on. Especially when Elaine keeps running into John F. Kennedy Jr. and a woman in the apartment across from Jerry’s insists on walking around nude. Not only is this episode plain funny, but a TV episode dedicated entirely to masturbation was almost unheard of in the early 90s.
