Top 10: Worst Movies I Watched for My 2014 Challenge

After all the awesomeness of my movie challenge, here is the crap pile. I really saw some shitty movies. This is list is also a warning for you, to never watch them. EVER!

10. The Counselor

It’s not the actors, or the director. This movie just didn’t make any sense. Thinking of it now, I don’t even remember what this movie was about. I do remember Cameron Diaz making love to a windshield. I wish I didn’t.

 

 

9. Bachelorette It wanted to be like “Bridesmaids”. It did provoke, but not in a good way. I felt ashamed of those people.

 

 

8. Abduction

“Abduction” was clearly about showing Taylor Lautner’s abs as many times as possible. And a constantly out of breath Lily Collins. No, I wish they would abduct this movie so it will never bother anyone ever again.

 

 

7. The Host

Author Stephanie Meyer really didn’t do it with “The Host”. I don’t know if it’s worse than “Twilight”, because it’s pretty much the same story with some alterations here and there.

 

 

6. Empire State

An unbelievable true story, about a heist of very badly protected money. This story is perfect source material for a good crime thriller. Instead I actually fell asleep halfway through the film. I dozed off for a couple of minutes. That’s never a good sign.

 

 

5. Dark Tide

For a shark movie, there aren’t a lot of sharks in it. It’s just Halle Berry in a bikini talking about her trauma, when she saw her friend get killed by a shark. Please skip this one.

 

 

4. Paranoia

You would think that Harisson Ford, Gary Oldman and talented Liam Hemsworth would make this work. Think again. It’s not any good and it lacks originality.

 

 

3. The Big Wedding

The director of “The Big Wedding” had Robert De Niro, Susan Sarandon, Diane Keaton ánd Robin Williams. And this is what he did with the movie!! You might as well send us a box of poop. This sucks, even Katherine Heigl thinks it sucks, because she looks grumpy the entire runtime of the film.

 

 

2. Battleship

NO, bad man Peter Berg, for making “Battleship”! It’s so stupid, everything about is stupid. And Liam Neeson, why are you in this shitty film?

 

 

1. Scarecrow

I don’t think anyone knows this movie, which is a good thing. Please keep it that way. Oh, and for a movie about a killing scarecrow, it doesn’t even look like a scarecrow.

 

 

 

Dishonorable Mentions: The Watch, The Guilt Trip, What to Expect When You’re Expecting, Hoe Duur Was de Suiker, Gone, Devil’s Due, Something Borrowed

100 Movie Challenge 2014 - # 137: Abduction

Director: John Singleton

Genre: Drama/ Action

Runtime: 100 minutes

Year: 2011

Starring: Taylor Lautner, Lily Collins, Alfred Molina, Sigourney Weaver, Maria Bello, Jason Isaacs

Description: A thriller centered on a young man who sets out to uncover the truth about his life after finding his baby photo on a missing persons website.

Review: Taylor Lautner is known for his role as Jacob in the “Twilight” series. His fans get it all with “Abduction”, where we see Lautner shirtless, driving a motorcycle and joyrides on front of a car. Lautner’s character Nathan is a bit of a bad boy, but he also gets nervous whenever he’s around the pretty Karen.

While working on a project for school, Nathan finds a picture of a missing boy who looks like him. When he eventually finds evidence of that boy actually being him, him confronts his parents with it. From that moment on his life is flipped upside down, when he and Karen have to run from the CIA.

“Abduction” is directed by John Singleton, the man who also gave us “Boyz ‘n the Hood”. This movie never reaches that same standard, but the audience he’s targeting might like it. Youngsters who don’t really know that there are hundreds of movies in the genre that are way better than this. The plot is somewhat okay and not always predictable, but the dialogues are just awful.

The acting is just average and sometimes just really bad. Sigourney Weaver, Alfred Molina, Jason Isaacs and Maria Bello do a solid job, but their roles are minor. Taylor Lautner has to carry this film and he is just too inexperienced for that. And Lily Collins, as Karen, is just terrible.

For fans of Taylor Lautner “Abduction” is a treat, but for the real movie fans it’s another bad action movie. The plot could have given us more and it simply isn’t exciting enough.

Rating: 1,5/ 5