Top 10: Worst Movies I Watched for My 2014 Challenge

After all the awesomeness of my movie challenge, here is the crap pile. I really saw some shitty movies. This is list is also a warning for you, to never watch them. EVER!

10. The Counselor

It’s not the actors, or the director. This movie just didn’t make any sense. Thinking of it now, I don’t even remember what this movie was about. I do remember Cameron Diaz making love to a windshield. I wish I didn’t.

 

 

9. Bachelorette It wanted to be like “Bridesmaids”. It did provoke, but not in a good way. I felt ashamed of those people.

 

 

8. Abduction

“Abduction” was clearly about showing Taylor Lautner’s abs as many times as possible. And a constantly out of breath Lily Collins. No, I wish they would abduct this movie so it will never bother anyone ever again.

 

 

7. The Host

Author Stephanie Meyer really didn’t do it with “The Host”. I don’t know if it’s worse than “Twilight”, because it’s pretty much the same story with some alterations here and there.

 

 

6. Empire State

An unbelievable true story, about a heist of very badly protected money. This story is perfect source material for a good crime thriller. Instead I actually fell asleep halfway through the film. I dozed off for a couple of minutes. That’s never a good sign.

 

 

5. Dark Tide

For a shark movie, there aren’t a lot of sharks in it. It’s just Halle Berry in a bikini talking about her trauma, when she saw her friend get killed by a shark. Please skip this one.

 

 

4. Paranoia

You would think that Harisson Ford, Gary Oldman and talented Liam Hemsworth would make this work. Think again. It’s not any good and it lacks originality.

 

 

3. The Big Wedding

The director of “The Big Wedding” had Robert De Niro, Susan Sarandon, Diane Keaton ánd Robin Williams. And this is what he did with the movie!! You might as well send us a box of poop. This sucks, even Katherine Heigl thinks it sucks, because she looks grumpy the entire runtime of the film.

 

 

2. Battleship

NO, bad man Peter Berg, for making “Battleship”! It’s so stupid, everything about is stupid. And Liam Neeson, why are you in this shitty film?

 

 

1. Scarecrow

I don’t think anyone knows this movie, which is a good thing. Please keep it that way. Oh, and for a movie about a killing scarecrow, it doesn’t even look like a scarecrow.

 

 

 

Dishonorable Mentions: The Watch, The Guilt Trip, What to Expect When You’re Expecting, Hoe Duur Was de Suiker, Gone, Devil’s Due, Something Borrowed

100 Movie Challenge 2014 - # 124: Empire State

Director: Dito Montiel

Genre: Action/ Crime/ Thriller

Runtime: 90 minutes

Year: 2013

Starring: Liam Hemsworth, Dwayne Johnson, Michael Angarano, Emma Roberts, Paul Ben-Victor, Jerry Ferrara, Nikki Reed, Michael Rispoli

Description: Two childhood friends (Liam Hemsworth and Michael Angarano) plan to rob an armored car depository. Detective Ransone (Dwayne Johnson) stands in their way.

Review: Apparently the robbery in the movie actually happened, the way it happened in “Empire State”. Sadly enough the movie is, despite of the source material, a very plane and bland movie.

In “Empire State” we follow Chris. His shady friend Eddie always pulls him into the bad business, while Chris wants to live an honest life. He even wants to become a cop. After he has been rejected to join the academy, Chris takes a job as a security guard. He has to protect a huge amount of money, but sees how poorly it is secured. Chris and Eddie decide to steal the money, but detective James Ransone is watching closely.

It’s actually very shocking to see how easy it is to get to the money and how they eventually steal it. Like I said before, the source material is strong. Director Dito Montiel didn’t make a spectacular film with this material. Not only the movie is plane, the acting isn’t all that great either. Liam Hemsworth could have done more than this, but it’s basically his character that’s in his way.

My biggest problem was how annoying I found the characters, especially Eddie. I didn’t feel a grind of sympathy and it was just predictable that everything was going ape shit.

“Empire State” is a film that you should probably ignore. Maybe for a rainy Sunday afternoon.

Rating: 1,5/ 5