Top 10: Worst Movies I Watched for My 2014 Challenge

After all the awesomeness of my movie challenge, here is the crap pile. I really saw some shitty movies. This is list is also a warning for you, to never watch them. EVER!

10. The Counselor

It’s not the actors, or the director. This movie just didn’t make any sense. Thinking of it now, I don’t even remember what this movie was about. I do remember Cameron Diaz making love to a windshield. I wish I didn’t.

 

 

9. Bachelorette It wanted to be like “Bridesmaids”. It did provoke, but not in a good way. I felt ashamed of those people.

 

 

8. Abduction

“Abduction” was clearly about showing Taylor Lautner’s abs as many times as possible. And a constantly out of breath Lily Collins. No, I wish they would abduct this movie so it will never bother anyone ever again.

 

 

7. The Host

Author Stephanie Meyer really didn’t do it with “The Host”. I don’t know if it’s worse than “Twilight”, because it’s pretty much the same story with some alterations here and there.

 

 

6. Empire State

An unbelievable true story, about a heist of very badly protected money. This story is perfect source material for a good crime thriller. Instead I actually fell asleep halfway through the film. I dozed off for a couple of minutes. That’s never a good sign.

 

 

5. Dark Tide

For a shark movie, there aren’t a lot of sharks in it. It’s just Halle Berry in a bikini talking about her trauma, when she saw her friend get killed by a shark. Please skip this one.

 

 

4. Paranoia

You would think that Harisson Ford, Gary Oldman and talented Liam Hemsworth would make this work. Think again. It’s not any good and it lacks originality.

 

 

3. The Big Wedding

The director of “The Big Wedding” had Robert De Niro, Susan Sarandon, Diane Keaton ánd Robin Williams. And this is what he did with the movie!! You might as well send us a box of poop. This sucks, even Katherine Heigl thinks it sucks, because she looks grumpy the entire runtime of the film.

 

 

2. Battleship

NO, bad man Peter Berg, for making “Battleship”! It’s so stupid, everything about is stupid. And Liam Neeson, why are you in this shitty film?

 

 

1. Scarecrow

I don’t think anyone knows this movie, which is a good thing. Please keep it that way. Oh, and for a movie about a killing scarecrow, it doesn’t even look like a scarecrow.

 

 

 

Dishonorable Mentions: The Watch, The Guilt Trip, What to Expect When You’re Expecting, Hoe Duur Was de Suiker, Gone, Devil’s Due, Something Borrowed

100 Movie Challenge 2014 - # 15: The Host

Director: Andrew Niccol
Genre: Science Fiction/ Thriller/ Romance
Runtime: 127 minutes
Year: 2013
Starring: Saoirse Ronan, Diane Kruger, Max Irons, Jake Abel, William Hurt

Description: When an unseen enemy threatens mankind by taking over their bodies and erasing their memories, Melanie (Saoirse Ronan) will risk everything to protect the people she cares most about, proving that love can conquer all in a dangerous new world.

Review: After the Twilight saga ended, author Stephenie Meyer had one more book that could be turned into a movie. Andrew Niccol, who we know from “Lord of War” and “In Time” was given the task to direct “The Host”.
The story is set in the future where mankind is taken over by parasites called Souls. They mean well and are convinced to help people in times of war and hunger. Melanie Stryder is one of the last humans, but is also taken over by one of the Souls. But the human in her is still very strong and she finds a way to work together with the Soul.
Like “Twilight” the young actors have the biggest roles in the story and a love triangle is present. That makes this movie more like a paranormal version of “Twilight’. The storyline is like “Invasion of the Body Snatcher”, but it never grabs you like the 1978 movie did. The movie is slow at times, because they are trying to create some character development. They never succeed in making us love the characters.
Saoirse Ronan plays her role well, but that annoying voice-over in her hear is a real burden. Unfortunately it’s necessary for the story. Diane Kruger and William Hurt don’t disappoint either, but the rest of the actors are forgettable.
“The Host” is the victim of a badly executed scenario, which already wasn’t strong as a novel. There is absolutely no tension and this movie feels like it takes forever to end. At some points it was so boring and ridiculous, I just wasn’t entertained.

Rating: 1,5/ 5

Movie Trailer Sunday (60)

This weeks trailers are about invaders who take over human bodies, shadowhunters, an admissions officer, two totally different female cops and illusionists.

The Host Description: Our world has been invaded by an unseen enemy. Humans become hosts for these invaders, their minds taken over while their bodies remain intact. Most of humanity has succumbed.
Director: Andrew Niccol
Starring: Saoirse Ronan, Max Irons, Jake Abel, Diane Kruger, William Hurt, Frances Fisher
Trailer: Trailer "The Host"
Comment: I was always kind of sceptic, but this trailer makes me want to read the book.

The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones Description: Clary Fray (Lily Collins) discovers she is the descendant of a line of Shadowhunters, a secret cadre of young half-angel warriors locked in an ancient battle to protect our world from demons. After the disappearance of her mother, Clary must join forces with a group of Shadowhunters, who introduce her to a dangerous alternate New York called Downworld, filled with demons, warlocks, vampires, werewolves and other deadly creatures.
Director: Harald Zwart
Starring: Lily Collins, Jaime Campbell Bower, Robert Sheehan, Jemima West, Kevin Segers, Kevin Durand, Robert Maillet, Lena Headey, Jared Harris, Godfrey Gao, Aidan Turner, CCH Pounder, Jonathan Rhys Meyers
Trailer: Trailer "The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones"
Comment: I love the books, didn't even know there was a movie in the making.

Admission Description: Portia Nathan (Tina Fey) is an admissions officer at Princeton University. Evaluating thousands of hopeful college students, the exceedingly bright and driven woman lives her life by the book, both at work and in her relationship with a faculty colleague, Mark (Michael Sheen). Visiting an experimental New Hampshire high school submitting applicants, Portia is caught off guard when its co-founder John Halsey (Paul Rudd) turns out to have attended college with her. She is then floored when reminded of the life-altering decision that she made while still a student herself; she had a son, who she gave up for adoption, and who she now realizes may be one of John's students, the precocious misfit Jeremiah. As Portia's emotions surge forth, she finds her life turning upside down in embarrassing ways and begins to bend the admissions rules, in the hopes of getting Jeremiah on the best path while perhaps righting her own as well.
Director: Paul Weitz
Starring: Tina Fey, Paul Rudd, Michael Sheen, Gloria Reuben, Wallace Shawn, Lily Tomlin
Trailer: Trailer "Admission"

The Heat Description: Uptight and straight-laced, FBI Special Agent Sarah Ashburn (Sandra Bullock) is a methodical investigator with a reputation for excellence-and hyper-arrogance. Shannon Mullins (Melissa McCarthy), one of Boston P.D.'s "finest," is foul-mouthed and has a very short fuse, and uses her gut instinct and street smarts to catch the most elusive criminals. Neither has ever had a partner, or a friend for that matter. When these two wildly incompatible law officers join forces to bring down a ruthless drug lord, they become the last thing anyone expected: buddies.
Director: Paul Feig
Starring: Sandra Bullock, Melissa McCarthy, Marlon Wayans, Michael Rapaport
Trailer: Trailer "The Heat"
Comment: Fun combo.

Now You See Me Description: We follow a crack FBI squad in a game of cat and mouse against a super-team of the world's greatest illusionists, who pull off a series of daring bank heists during their performances, showering the profits on their audiences while staying one step ahead of the law.
Director: Louis Leterrier
Starring: Jesse Eisenberg, Woody Harrelson, Isla Fisher, Melanie Laurent, Mark Ruffalo, Morgan Freeman Michael Caine, Dave Franco
Trailer: Trailer "Now You See Me"
Comment: Of all the great trailers this week, this ones my favorite. Looks so awesome, it really surprised me.