Top 10: Worst Movies I Watched for My 2014 Challenge

After all the awesomeness of my movie challenge, here is the crap pile. I really saw some shitty movies. This is list is also a warning for you, to never watch them. EVER!

10. The Counselor

It’s not the actors, or the director. This movie just didn’t make any sense. Thinking of it now, I don’t even remember what this movie was about. I do remember Cameron Diaz making love to a windshield. I wish I didn’t.

 

 

9. Bachelorette It wanted to be like “Bridesmaids”. It did provoke, but not in a good way. I felt ashamed of those people.

 

 

8. Abduction

“Abduction” was clearly about showing Taylor Lautner’s abs as many times as possible. And a constantly out of breath Lily Collins. No, I wish they would abduct this movie so it will never bother anyone ever again.

 

 

7. The Host

Author Stephanie Meyer really didn’t do it with “The Host”. I don’t know if it’s worse than “Twilight”, because it’s pretty much the same story with some alterations here and there.

 

 

6. Empire State

An unbelievable true story, about a heist of very badly protected money. This story is perfect source material for a good crime thriller. Instead I actually fell asleep halfway through the film. I dozed off for a couple of minutes. That’s never a good sign.

 

 

5. Dark Tide

For a shark movie, there aren’t a lot of sharks in it. It’s just Halle Berry in a bikini talking about her trauma, when she saw her friend get killed by a shark. Please skip this one.

 

 

4. Paranoia

You would think that Harisson Ford, Gary Oldman and talented Liam Hemsworth would make this work. Think again. It’s not any good and it lacks originality.

 

 

3. The Big Wedding

The director of “The Big Wedding” had Robert De Niro, Susan Sarandon, Diane Keaton ánd Robin Williams. And this is what he did with the movie!! You might as well send us a box of poop. This sucks, even Katherine Heigl thinks it sucks, because she looks grumpy the entire runtime of the film.

 

 

2. Battleship

NO, bad man Peter Berg, for making “Battleship”! It’s so stupid, everything about is stupid. And Liam Neeson, why are you in this shitty film?

 

 

1. Scarecrow

I don’t think anyone knows this movie, which is a good thing. Please keep it that way. Oh, and for a movie about a killing scarecrow, it doesn’t even look like a scarecrow.

 

 

 

Dishonorable Mentions: The Watch, The Guilt Trip, What to Expect When You’re Expecting, Hoe Duur Was de Suiker, Gone, Devil’s Due, Something Borrowed

100 Movie Challenge 2014 - # 106: Scarecrow

Director: Sheldon Wilson

Genre: Horror

Runtime: 86 minutes

Year: 2013

Starring: Lacey Chabert, Richard Harmon, Nicole Muñoz, Robin Dunn, Brittney Wilson, Julia Maxwell, Iain Belcher, Kevin O’Grady, Reilly Dolman

Description: For generations, it was an urban legend that lived in the nightmares of children. Now, the season to rejuvenate the tale will revive a town's darkest fears. With the Scarecrow Festival on the horizon, school teacher Aaron Harris (Richard Harmon) is doling out punishment for six students serving detention. Their task: help Aaron's ex-girlfriend Kristen (Lacey Chabert) fix her family farm before it's sold. But the cornfields circling the farm come with a legend-and Tyler takes macabre delight in recounting the tale: It never sleeps, it never dies, it can't be stopped, hear their cries. The Scarecrow lives to kill us all. Keep it buried in the fall...

Review: Sometimes there is this horror movie that, when you read its synopsis, you know your expectations are low. But there are also times that you’re just in the mood for a bad horror movie. If you’re looking for that, “Scarecrow” is the right movie.

A teacher is driving six of his student to a farm, where they have to help fix it before it’s sold, as part of their detention. The cornfield comes with a legend: the scarecrow has killed people. Off course no one believes it, until it is actually happening.

I actually got what I expected: bad acting, cheesy and unintelligent dialogues, stereotypes and a lot of clichés. “Scarecrow” isn’t scary at all. When I’m watching a horror movie, I’m always on edge, because I scare easily. Not once did it scare me, not once! Well, to me that’s a bad horror movie. But a different kind of bad, because other bad scary films entertain you at least because it’s so silly. “Scarecrow” takes itself way too seriously.

“Scarecrow” is not worth your time.

Rating: 0,5 / 5