Top 10: Worst Movies I Watched for My 2014 Challenge

After all the awesomeness of my movie challenge, here is the crap pile. I really saw some shitty movies. This is list is also a warning for you, to never watch them. EVER!

10. The Counselor

It’s not the actors, or the director. This movie just didn’t make any sense. Thinking of it now, I don’t even remember what this movie was about. I do remember Cameron Diaz making love to a windshield. I wish I didn’t.

 

 

9. Bachelorette It wanted to be like “Bridesmaids”. It did provoke, but not in a good way. I felt ashamed of those people.

 

 

8. Abduction

“Abduction” was clearly about showing Taylor Lautner’s abs as many times as possible. And a constantly out of breath Lily Collins. No, I wish they would abduct this movie so it will never bother anyone ever again.

 

 

7. The Host

Author Stephanie Meyer really didn’t do it with “The Host”. I don’t know if it’s worse than “Twilight”, because it’s pretty much the same story with some alterations here and there.

 

 

6. Empire State

An unbelievable true story, about a heist of very badly protected money. This story is perfect source material for a good crime thriller. Instead I actually fell asleep halfway through the film. I dozed off for a couple of minutes. That’s never a good sign.

 

 

5. Dark Tide

For a shark movie, there aren’t a lot of sharks in it. It’s just Halle Berry in a bikini talking about her trauma, when she saw her friend get killed by a shark. Please skip this one.

 

 

4. Paranoia

You would think that Harisson Ford, Gary Oldman and talented Liam Hemsworth would make this work. Think again. It’s not any good and it lacks originality.

 

 

3. The Big Wedding

The director of “The Big Wedding” had Robert De Niro, Susan Sarandon, Diane Keaton ánd Robin Williams. And this is what he did with the movie!! You might as well send us a box of poop. This sucks, even Katherine Heigl thinks it sucks, because she looks grumpy the entire runtime of the film.

 

 

2. Battleship

NO, bad man Peter Berg, for making “Battleship”! It’s so stupid, everything about is stupid. And Liam Neeson, why are you in this shitty film?

 

 

1. Scarecrow

I don’t think anyone knows this movie, which is a good thing. Please keep it that way. Oh, and for a movie about a killing scarecrow, it doesn’t even look like a scarecrow.

 

 

 

Dishonorable Mentions: The Watch, The Guilt Trip, What to Expect When You’re Expecting, Hoe Duur Was de Suiker, Gone, Devil’s Due, Something Borrowed

Best & Worst: Gary Oldman

I think Gary Oldman picks his roles very carefully, because he doesn’t have a lot of bad movies.

 

 

 

This is one gem, directed by Luc Besson. It’s a great story, but with three amazing performances. Off course Jean Reno and Natalie Portman shine, but Gary Oldman is really creepy and convincing as the villain. Honorable Mentions: “True Romance”, “Dawn of the Planet of the Apes”, “The Fifth Element”, “Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban”, “Batman Begins”, “Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy”

 

 

A very recent movie. And it wasn’t because of him, Oldman was probably the best bit of the film. “Paranoia” just didn’t do it for me. It was boring.

Dishonorable Mentions: “Red Riding Hood”

100 Movie Challenge 2014 - # 94: Paranoia

Director: Robert Luketic

Genre: Thriller

Runtime: 115 minutes

Year: 2013

Starring: Liam Hemsworth, Gary Oldman, Harrison Ford, Amber Heard, Richard Dreyfuss, Embeth Davidtz, Josh Holloway, Julian McMahon

Description: Adam Cassidy (Liam Hemsworth) is an entry-level employee at a powerful corporation. He finds himself occupying a corner office, but at a dangerous price: he must spy on his boss's old mentor to secure for him a multi-billion dollar advantage.

Review: Adam Cassidy is a young and ambitious man working for a company that specializes in smartphones. When he stuffs up a presentation, he and his co-workers end up on the street. Because Adam is angry, he uses the company’s credit card and buys his colleagues a fun night out. Adam’s boss Nicholas Wyatt finds out and leaves him with two options: They turn him in to the police or he has to spy on Wyatts old mentor, Jock Goddard. Adam, who doesn’t have a penny to spare and is struggling with a sick father, takes the job. What seems like an easy job, turns out to be his worst nightmare.

A thriller doesn’t need to have a good developed story to captivate you. With the correct mix of a good script, pace and the right actors you get a long way. “Paranioa” seems to have all those things: a script about corruption within the current crisis, acting legends Ford and Oldman and hot talent Liam Hemsworth. But “Paranoia” hits and misses.

The movie starts out just fine. But things get very improbable. Everything is high-tech, but the competition easily breaks through each other’s security. And there are very bad dialogues. This movie lacks originality.

Liam Hemsworth looks great, like his brother Chris, but doesn’t have that same charisma and talent. He is a bit superficial. Amber Heard shows us that looking good doesn’t mean you can’t act. Harrison Ford is doing a routine job, nothing noteworthy there. But Gary Oldman shows us that he can still pull of the villain role.

“Paranoia” misses its chance with the mediocre script and the lack of intensity from the actors. Even Ford and Oldman can’t save it. It’s a standard thriller that you won’t remember for long.

Rating: 1,5/ 5

Movie Trailer Sunday (91)

Here are this weeks trailers.

The Family
Description: A maffia boss and his family are relocated to a sleepy town in France under the witness protection program after snitching on the mob. Despite the best efforts of Agent Stansfield (Tommy Lee Jones) to keep them in line, Fred Manzoni (Robert DeNiro), his wife Maggie (Michelle Pfeiffer) and their children Belle (Dianna Agron) and Warren (John D'Leo) can't help but revert to old habits and blow their cover by handling their problems the 'family' way, enabling their former mafia cronies to track them down.
Director: Luc Besson
Starring: Robert De Niro, Michelle Pfeiffer, Tommy Lee Jones, Dianna Agron, John D'Leo
Trailer: Trailer "The Family"
Comment: Always wanted to see De Niro an Pfeiffer together again.

The To Do List
Description: Set in 1993, valedictorian Brandy Klark (Aubrey Plaza) wants to shed her uptight image before college, so she assembles a to do list of all the 'activities' she missed out on in high school. Quickly realizing that she's way out of her depth, Brandy solicits her best friends, older sister and burnt-out boss for their help and advice. If the group is going to complete the list by September they'll need plenty of imagination and very open minds.
Director: Maggie Carey
Starring: Aubrey Plaza, Johnny Simmons, Bill Hader, Alia Shawkat, Sarah Steele, Rachel Bilson, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Donald Glover, Scott Porter, Andy Samberg, Connie Britton, Clark Gregg
Trailer: Trailer "The To Do List"

Paranoia
Description: The two most powerful tech billionaires in the world (Harrison Ford and Gary Oldman) are bitter rivals with a complicated past who will stop at nothing to destroy each other. A young superstar (Liam Hemsworth), seduced by unlimited wealth and power falls between them, and becomes trapped in the middle of the twists and turns of their life-and-death game of corporate espionage. By the time he realizes his life is in danger, he is in far too deep and knows far too much for them to let him walk away.
Director: Robert Luketic
Starring: Harrison Ford, Gary Oldman, Liam Hemsworth, Amber Heard, Richard Dreyfuss, Embeth Davidtz, Josh Holloway
Trailer: Trailer "Paranoia"
Comment: Love Liam!

Blue Jasmine
Description: We see the final stages of an acute crisis and a life of a fashionable New York housewife.
Director: Woody Allen
Starring: Cate Blanchett, Alec Baldwin, Bobby Cannavale, Lous C.K., Andrew Dice Clay, Sally Hawkins, Peter Sarsgaard
Trailer: Trailer "Blue Jasmine"

The Frozen Ground
Description: An Alaska State Trooper (Nicolas Cage) partners with a young woman (Vanessa Hudgens) who escaped the clutches of serial killer Robert Hansen (John Cusack) to bring the murderer to justice
Director: Scott Walker
Starring: Nicolas Cage, John Cusack, Vanessa Hudgens, Radha Mitchell, Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson
Trailer: Trailer "The Frozen Ground"
Comment: John Cusack!!! I'm in love with this actor.