Top 10: Worst Movies I Watched for My 2014 Challenge

After all the awesomeness of my movie challenge, here is the crap pile. I really saw some shitty movies. This is list is also a warning for you, to never watch them. EVER!

10. The Counselor

It’s not the actors, or the director. This movie just didn’t make any sense. Thinking of it now, I don’t even remember what this movie was about. I do remember Cameron Diaz making love to a windshield. I wish I didn’t.

 

 

9. Bachelorette It wanted to be like “Bridesmaids”. It did provoke, but not in a good way. I felt ashamed of those people.

 

 

8. Abduction

“Abduction” was clearly about showing Taylor Lautner’s abs as many times as possible. And a constantly out of breath Lily Collins. No, I wish they would abduct this movie so it will never bother anyone ever again.

 

 

7. The Host

Author Stephanie Meyer really didn’t do it with “The Host”. I don’t know if it’s worse than “Twilight”, because it’s pretty much the same story with some alterations here and there.

 

 

6. Empire State

An unbelievable true story, about a heist of very badly protected money. This story is perfect source material for a good crime thriller. Instead I actually fell asleep halfway through the film. I dozed off for a couple of minutes. That’s never a good sign.

 

 

5. Dark Tide

For a shark movie, there aren’t a lot of sharks in it. It’s just Halle Berry in a bikini talking about her trauma, when she saw her friend get killed by a shark. Please skip this one.

 

 

4. Paranoia

You would think that Harisson Ford, Gary Oldman and talented Liam Hemsworth would make this work. Think again. It’s not any good and it lacks originality.

 

 

3. The Big Wedding

The director of “The Big Wedding” had Robert De Niro, Susan Sarandon, Diane Keaton ánd Robin Williams. And this is what he did with the movie!! You might as well send us a box of poop. This sucks, even Katherine Heigl thinks it sucks, because she looks grumpy the entire runtime of the film.

 

 

2. Battleship

NO, bad man Peter Berg, for making “Battleship”! It’s so stupid, everything about is stupid. And Liam Neeson, why are you in this shitty film?

 

 

1. Scarecrow

I don’t think anyone knows this movie, which is a good thing. Please keep it that way. Oh, and for a movie about a killing scarecrow, it doesn’t even look like a scarecrow.

 

 

 

Dishonorable Mentions: The Watch, The Guilt Trip, What to Expect When You’re Expecting, Hoe Duur Was de Suiker, Gone, Devil’s Due, Something Borrowed

100 Movie Challenge 2014 - # 85: Dark Tide

Director: John Stockwell

Genre: Drama

Runtime: 114 minutes

Year: 2012

Starring: Halle Berry, Olivier Martinez, Ralph Brown, Luke Tyler, Mark Elderkin, Yhoko Ntshinga, Sizwe Msutu

Description: Professional diver tutor Kate (Halle Berry) returns to deep waters after 1 year, following an almost fatal encounter with a great white shark. The nightmare from the deep is still lurking - more carnivorous and hungry than ever.

Review: Director John Stockwell seems to have specialized in movies about water. “Blue Crush” and “Into the Blue” where both movies set in and around the ocean. “Dark Tide” is next, a thriller and drama. At least that’s what it’s supposed to be. But it doesn’t reach a very high level.

What I loved about the movie is how they pictured South Africa and the great whites. It reminded me of the films and photos my brother showed me when he visited it. He actually saw the film crew while he was there. But although “Dark Tide” is about sharks, they don’t get the attention they deserve here. There is too much talking and sharing feelings, between characters you really don’t care about.

There is nothing wrong with trying to cope with a trauma, but Halle Berry doesn’t give it enough depth to make it interesting. And all of the other characters are pretty forgettable as well. When it comes to a grabbing plot of interesting characters, “Dark Tide” is a movie to skip. It would have been nice if the sharks got a little action. The scene in ‘Shark Alley’ gets a little tension and some shocking attacks, but not enough to save the rest of the film.

Great realistic shots of sharks, seals, the South African landscape and Halle Berry in bikini, but the rest is pretty bad. Not worth your time.

Rating: 1,5/ 5

Movie Trailer Sunday (25)

This weeks trailers are about faceless hauntings, vampire slaying Abraham Lincoln, sharks, college and uncovering a tragic past.

Intruders
Description: Though no one can see him, Hollow Face lurks in the corners, desperately desiring love but only knowing how to spread fear and hate. He creeps into the life of John Farrow (Clive Owen) after Farrow's beloved 13-year-old daughter Mia (Ella Purnell) is assaulted in their home. The line between the real and the imaginary blurs as fissures start to open within the family unit. It seems that no security measure can keep Hollow Face out.
Director: Juan Carlos Fresnadillo
Starring: Clive Owen, Carice van Houten and Ella Purnell,
Trailer: Trailer "Intruders"

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
Description: President Lincoln's mother is killed by a supernatural creature, which fuels his passion to crush vampires and their slave-owning helpers.
Director: Timur Bekmambetov
Starring: Benjamin Walker, Dominic Cooper, Anthony Mackie, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Jimmi Simpson, Robin McLeavy, Alan Tudyk, Rufus Sewell
Trailer: Trailer "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter"
Comment: The title alone is awesome.

Dark Tide
Description: Kate (Halle Berry) is a shark expert whose business has been failing since a shark attack killed a fellow diver under her command. Once dubbed "the shark whisperer," Kate is haunted by the memory of the attack and unable to get back into the water. With bills piling up and the bank about to foreclose on Kate's boat, Kate's ex-boyfriend Jeff (Olivier Martinez) presents her with a lucrative opportunity: lead a thrill-seeking millionaire businessman on a dangerous shark dive...outside the cage. Battling her self-doubts and fear, Kate accepts the proposal -- and sets a course for the world's deadliest feeding ground: Shark Alley.
Director: John Stockwell
Starring: Halle Berry and Olivier Martinez
Trailer: Trailer "Dark Tide"
Comment: This movie was shot at the same location my brother Frank was vacationing at that time. He didn't get to see Halle Berry though.

Damsels in Distress
Description: We follows a group of style-obsessed college girls who take in a new student (Greta Gerwig) and teach her their misguided ways of helping people at their grungy university.
Director: Whit Stillman
Starring: Greta Gerwig, Adam Brody, Analeigh Tipton, Megalyn Echikunwoke, Carrie MacLemore, Hugo Becker, Billy Magnussen, Ryan Metcalf, Jermaine Crawford, Aubrey Plaza
Trailer: Trailer "Damsels in Distress"

Apart
Description: Linked by a rare psychological disorder, Noah Greene and Emily Gates must uncover the mystery of a tragic past in order to find hope for the future.
Director: Aaron Rottinghaus
Starring: Oleysa Rulin,Josh Danziger, Bruce McGill and Joey Lauren Adams
Trailer: Trailer "Apart"