Top 10: Worst Movies I Watched for My 2014 Challenge

After all the awesomeness of my movie challenge, here is the crap pile. I really saw some shitty movies. This is list is also a warning for you, to never watch them. EVER!

10. The Counselor

It’s not the actors, or the director. This movie just didn’t make any sense. Thinking of it now, I don’t even remember what this movie was about. I do remember Cameron Diaz making love to a windshield. I wish I didn’t.

 

 

9. Bachelorette It wanted to be like “Bridesmaids”. It did provoke, but not in a good way. I felt ashamed of those people.

 

 

8. Abduction

“Abduction” was clearly about showing Taylor Lautner’s abs as many times as possible. And a constantly out of breath Lily Collins. No, I wish they would abduct this movie so it will never bother anyone ever again.

 

 

7. The Host

Author Stephanie Meyer really didn’t do it with “The Host”. I don’t know if it’s worse than “Twilight”, because it’s pretty much the same story with some alterations here and there.

 

 

6. Empire State

An unbelievable true story, about a heist of very badly protected money. This story is perfect source material for a good crime thriller. Instead I actually fell asleep halfway through the film. I dozed off for a couple of minutes. That’s never a good sign.

 

 

5. Dark Tide

For a shark movie, there aren’t a lot of sharks in it. It’s just Halle Berry in a bikini talking about her trauma, when she saw her friend get killed by a shark. Please skip this one.

 

 

4. Paranoia

You would think that Harisson Ford, Gary Oldman and talented Liam Hemsworth would make this work. Think again. It’s not any good and it lacks originality.

 

 

3. The Big Wedding

The director of “The Big Wedding” had Robert De Niro, Susan Sarandon, Diane Keaton ánd Robin Williams. And this is what he did with the movie!! You might as well send us a box of poop. This sucks, even Katherine Heigl thinks it sucks, because she looks grumpy the entire runtime of the film.

 

 

2. Battleship

NO, bad man Peter Berg, for making “Battleship”! It’s so stupid, everything about is stupid. And Liam Neeson, why are you in this shitty film?

 

 

1. Scarecrow

I don’t think anyone knows this movie, which is a good thing. Please keep it that way. Oh, and for a movie about a killing scarecrow, it doesn’t even look like a scarecrow.

 

 

 

Dishonorable Mentions: The Watch, The Guilt Trip, What to Expect When You’re Expecting, Hoe Duur Was de Suiker, Gone, Devil’s Due, Something Borrowed

100 Movie Challenge 2014 - # 107: The Counselor

Director: Ridley Scott

Genre: Crime/ Thriller/ Drama

Runtime: 118 minutes

Year: 2013

Starring: Michael Fassbender, Penélope Cruz, Javier Bardem, Cameron Diaz, Brad Pitt

Description: A rich and successful lawyer, the Counselor (Michael Fassbender), is about to get married to his fiancée (Penélope Cruz) but soon becomes entangled in a complex drug plot with a middle-man known as Westray (Brad Pitt). The plan ends up taking a horrible twist and he must protect himself and his soon to be bride as the truth of the drug business is uncovered and targets are eliminated.

Review: With “The Counselor”, writer Cormac McCarthy delivers his first film scenario. The author is known for movie adaptations of his novels “No Country for Old Men” and “The Road”. His work seems to lend itself perfectly for the big screen, but it doesn’t necessary lead to success. That’s what is proved with “The Counselor”.

The movie takes us to the dark world of drug trafficking between Mexico and the United States. A business filled with greed and decadence and a world that’s hard to escape from. Counselor experiences that himself, when he chooses money over honor. He wants to secure his future with his fiancé Laura, so he decides to get involved. His eccentric business partners Reiner and Westray make a deal, that could eventually get them 20 million dollars. Off course nothing goes according to plan.

The failure of the plan is very predictable. The biggest problem is the dialogue. Every action, plot twist and progression happens during a dialogue. It gets a bit unilateral, but also results in unsurprising progression. Strangely enough sex is a big theme in many of the conversations, which also gives us a weird scene of Cameron Diaz on a windshield. Because of all this, the character’s motives are never really clear. It makes everything very incoherent. This might work in a novel, but the movie needs more than the spoken word.

Director Ridley Scott tries to put movement in the stiff scenes, and he succeeds. The montage is great and the trouble at the borders is clearly present. The acting is fine. Javier Bardem, with again a very weird look, is most enjoyable. Because “The Counselor” is so focused on dialogue, the conclusion of this film never sticks. It’s not all bad, but “The Counselor” could have been a lot better. One missed shot.

Rating: 2/ 5

Movie Trailer Sunday (97)

Here are this weeks trailers.

12 Years a Slave
Description: In the pre-Civil War United States, Solomon Northup (Chiwetel Ejiofor), a free black man from upstate New York, is abducted and sold into slavery. Facing cruelty, personified by a malevolent slave owner (Michael Fassbender), as well as unexpected kindnesses, Solomon struggles not only to stay alive, but to retain his dignity. In the twelfth year of his unforgettable odyssey, Solomon's chance meeting with a Canadian abolitionist (Brad Pitt) will forever alter his life.
Director: Steve McQueen
Starring: Chiwetel Ejiofor, Michael Fassbender, Benedict Cumberbatch, Paul Dano, Garret Dillahunt, Paul Giamatti, Sarah Paulson, Brad Pitt, Michael Kenneth Williams, Alfre Woodard, Chris Chalk, Taran Killam, Bill Camp
Trailer: Trailer "12 Years a Slave"
Comment: This is definitely one of those stories that will makeme cry.

The Fifthe Estate
Description: Triggering our age of high-stakes secrecy, explosive news leaks and the trafficking of classified information, WikiLeaks forever changed the game. Now, in a dramatic thriller based on real events, "The Fifth Estate" reveals the quest to expose the deceptions and corruptions of power that turned an Internet upstart into the 21st century's most fiercely debated organization. The story begins as WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange (Benedict Cumberbatch) and his colleague Daniel Domscheit-Berg (Daniel Brühl) team up to become underground watchdogs of the privileged and powerful. On a shoestring, they create a platform that allows whistleblowers to anonymously leak covert data, shining a light on the dark recesses of government secrets and corporate crimes. Soon, they are breaking more hard news than the world's most legendary media organizations combined. But when Assange and Berg gain access to the biggest trove of confidential intelligence documents in U.S. history, they battle each other and a defining question of our time: what are the costs of keeping secrets in a free society, and what are the costs of exposing them?
Director: Bill Condon
Starring: Benedict Cumberbatch, Daniel Br�hl, Anthony Mackie, David Thewlis, Alicia Vikander, Peter Capaldi, Carice van Houten, Dan Stevens, Stanley Tucci, Laura Linney
Trailer: Trailer "The Fifth Estate"
Comment: I love Benedict Cumberbatch, not so much as a blonde but he's still awesome!

Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom
Description: Based on South African President Nelson Mandela's autobiography of the same name, which chronicles his early life, coming of age, education and 27 years in prison before becoming President and working to rebuild the country's once segregated society
Director: Justin Chadwick
Starring: Idris Elba, Naomie Harris, Tony Kgoroge, Riaad Moosa, Zolani Mkiva, Jamie Bartlett, Lindiwe Matshikiza, Deon Lotz, Terry Pheto
Trailer: Trailer "Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom"
Comment: Nelson Mandela is oneof my heroes and inspirations.

The Counselor
Description: A present-day Southwest lawyer gets in over his head in the drug trade.
Director: Ridley Scott
Starring: Michael Fassbender, Brad Pitt, Javier Bardem, Cameron Diaz, Penelope Cruz, John Leguizamo
Trailer: Trailer "The Counselor"

Seventh Son
Description: In a time long past, an evil is about to be unleashed that will reignite the war between the forces of the supernatural and humankind once more. Master Gregory (Jeff Bridges) is a knight who had imprisoned the malevolently powerful witch, Mother Malkin (Julianne Moore), centuries ago. But now she has escaped and is seeking vengeance. Summoning her followers of every incarnation, Mother Malkin is preparing to unleash her terrible wrath on an unsuspecting world. Only one thing stands in her way: Master Gregory. In a deadly reunion, Gregory comes face to face with the evil he always feared would someday return. Now he has only until the next full moon to do what usually takes years: train his new apprentice, Tom Ward (Ben Barnes) to fight a dark magic unlike any other. Man's only hope lies in the seventh son of a seventh son.
Director: Sergei Bodrov
Starring: Jeff Bridges, Julianne Moore, Ben Barnes, Djimon Hounsou, Alicia Vikander, Antje Traue, Olivia Williams, Kit Harington
Trailer: Trailer "Seventh Son"