After all the awesomeness of my movie challenge, here is the crap pile. I really saw some shitty movies. This is list is also a warning for you, to never watch them. EVER!
10. The Counselor
It’s not the actors, or the director. This movie just didn’t make any sense. Thinking of it now, I don’t even remember what this movie was about. I do remember Cameron Diaz making love to a windshield. I wish I didn’t.
9. Bachelorette It wanted to be like “Bridesmaids”. It did provoke, but not in a good way. I felt ashamed of those people.
“Abduction” was clearly about showing Taylor Lautner’s abs as many times as possible. And a constantly out of breath Lily Collins. No, I wish they would abduct this movie so it will never bother anyone ever again.
7. The Host
Author Stephanie Meyer really didn’t do it with “The Host”. I don’t know if it’s worse than “Twilight”, because it’s pretty much the same story with some alterations here and there.
6. Empire State
An unbelievable true story, about a heist of very badly protected money. This story is perfect source material for a good crime thriller. Instead I actually fell asleep halfway through the film. I dozed off for a couple of minutes. That’s never a good sign.
5. Dark Tide
For a shark movie, there aren’t a lot of sharks in it. It’s just Halle Berry in a bikini talking about her trauma, when she saw her friend get killed by a shark. Please skip this one.
You would think that Harisson Ford, Gary Oldman and talented Liam Hemsworth would make this work. Think again. It’s not any good and it lacks originality.
3. The Big Wedding
The director of “The Big Wedding” had Robert De Niro, Susan Sarandon, Diane Keaton ánd Robin Williams. And this is what he did with the movie!! You might as well send us a box of poop. This sucks, even Katherine Heigl thinks it sucks, because she looks grumpy the entire runtime of the film.
NO, bad man Peter Berg, for making “Battleship”! It’s so stupid, everything about is stupid. And Liam Neeson, why are you in this shitty film?
I don’t think anyone knows this movie, which is a good thing. Please keep it that way. Oh, and for a movie about a killing scarecrow, it doesn’t even look like a scarecrow.
Dishonorable Mentions: The Watch, The Guilt Trip, What to Expect When You’re Expecting, Hoe Duur Was de Suiker, Gone, Devil’s Due, Something Borrowed